Archive | October 2010

Senior Halloween

Senior Halloween

 
 

You know you are too old to Trick or Treat when:

10. You get winded from knocking on the door.

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9.  You have to have another kid chew the candy for you.

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8.  You ask for high fiber candy only.

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7.  When someone drops a candy bar in your bag,
you lose your balance and fall over

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6  People say: ‘Great Boris Karloff Mask,’
    And you’re not wearing a mask.

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5.  When the door opens you yell, ‘Trick or…’
 And can’t remember the rest.

4.  By the end of the night,
you have a bag full of restraining orders.

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3.  You have to carefully choose a costume that won’t dislodge your hairpiece.

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2.  You’re the only Power Ranger in the
neighborhood with a walker.

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And the number one reason Seniors should not go
Trick Or Treating..
*
*
*
1.  You keep having to go home to pee.

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No matter, have a HAPPY HALLOWEEN anyway.  

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The final word on nutrition and health

For those of you who watch what you eat, here’s the final word on nutrition and health.  It’s a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies.

1. The Japanese eat very little fat
and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat
and suffer fewer heart at tacks than Americans.

3. The Chinese drink very little red wine
and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine
and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

5. The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

CONCLUSION:

Eat and drink what you like.
Speaking English is apparently what kills you.

Pole dancing, as you’ve never seen it before

One man.  One woman.  One stripper pole.

Pole dancing, as you’ve never seen it before.