Archive | December 2011

Drinking and Driving

I would like to share an experience with you about drinking and driving.

As you well know, some of us have been known to have had brushes with the authorities on our way home from the odd social session over the years.

A couple of nights ago, I was out with some friends and had a few too many beers and one or two tequilas.

Knowing full well I may have been slightly over the limit, I did something I’ve never done before – I took a bus home.

I arrived home safely and without incident, which was a real surprise, as I have never driven a bus before and am not sure where I got this one.

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Texas Bible Test

An old Texan went to the local church and asked to join.  The preacher said, ‘OK, but you have to pass a small Bible test first.’
The first question is ‘Where was Jesus born?’
The man answered, ‘Longview.’
The preacher said, ‘Sorry…you can’t join our church.’

Soooooo… he went to another church and asked to join.

The preacher said, ‘We would love to have you, but you have to pass a Bible test first.  Where was Jesus born?’
The man said. ‘Tyler.’
The preacher said, ‘Sorry…you can’t join our church.’

Soooo….he goes to another church and asks to join.

The preacher said, ‘That’s great; we welcome you with open arms.’
The man said, ‘I don’t have to pass no Bible test first?’
The preacher said, ‘No.’

The man said, ‘Can I ask you a question?’

The preacher said, ‘Sure.’

The man said, ‘Where was Jesus born?’

The preacher said, ‘Palestine.’

The man mumbled to himself, ‘I knew it was in East Texas somewhere.’